Own Words : 5 Ways To Overcome Social Akwardness
October 17th, 2012
Graphic by Christian
Just like everyone else in this world I’m a lover for music, I really can’t even function with out it. A day without my Ipod is damn near suicide for me. One artist I listen to a great deal is J. Cole. In his song “Unabomber “off of his Any Given Sunday mix tape. There was one line that really stuck to me “Man one year later I was on them phones collecting money. A lesson from me-everybody got a story dog .Unfortunately learned I can’t do nothing for you” His style and delivery really shed light and brought life to that line. Everyone has a story to tell whether its good bad, sad, funny, inspiring, or helpful. But not everyone is given the chance to tell share story either that or they may not feel comfortable doing so.
“Own Words” Is a series that is inspired by that J.Cole lyric, I want my readers to contribute any thoughts, stories, and tips they may have pertaining to everyday life. The subject matter is whatever is on your mind you care to share. You may also choose to remain completely anonymous or have credit given to you for your story.
I’m extremely awkward socially I mean I’m definitely not as bad as I used to be. Conversing with others just really wasn’t what I was best at. I was really on of those lay in the shadows low key type. But I can say that my blog has put me more in a position where I need to be able to communicate with others. Especially when it’s readers who may recognize me on the streets and want to come over and say hello. So for those who have the same awkward social skills such as myself, you are not alone. I have compiled a few helpful tips for those in need and have no clue where to really start at when getting over this social dilemma.
5 way to get over being Socially Awkward
1. Find the source
Take the time to find out what the source behind you feeling socially awkward may be. For many individuals it may be caused by fear, anxiety, insecurities, etc. Nothing really out of the ordinary, we all have our own personal conflicts, but how we deal with them individually is what separates the packs. The source may be from a personal experience that you may have had; it should be sourced out and tackled immediately. It takes time but it is not impossible, to regain your self confidence just with a bit of patience and persistence.
2. Smile at everyone you encounter
Smiling is the easiest way to break the ice with anyone who have just met or been introduced to and have absolutely nothing to say. It beats the moments where you both have absolutely nothing to say and casually sip your drink or scattering the room with your eyes finding an excuse to escape. Personally I have what I call the Ralph Wigum syndrome if you don’t know what that is THIS should sum it up. I would carelessly just have a blank look on my face. But not in a “ I don’t care about who your are and what you have to say” demeanor. I just really wouldn’t have much of anything to say. But I later thought about it from the perspective of the other individual and how awkward it would really feel to meet someone who just stood their blank faced. Who would want to be around such energy ? From that moment on everyone I would have encountered and got the Ralph Wigum syndrome would right me off in write me off in their heads, as cocky, uninteresting, or flat out rude. So why not just throw something positive right out the gate. Something as simple as a smile can go a long way. This is not easy for some without looking like a creep; good practice is really just smile with complete strangers. As you open a door for someone, have a bit off a brush on a busy street or intersection, when you make eye contact with a stranger, while asking for assistance, etc. If all that fails just do the old school trick; think of happy thoughts, think of happy thoughts, think of happy thoughts.
STILL NO HOPE?!?! HERE
3. Practice conversing with people you don’t know
I used to just clam up in an unfamiliar environment, but what I’ve found is that if you make polite conversation with people at every opportunity, it becomes much easier to open up and converse. Any situation you’re in where you’re surrounded by people you don’t know at all or don’t know well – a conference, a trip on the bus, a line at the coffee shop, or your spouse’s extended family reunion, to name a few – can be used to practice conversation. Take advantage of these opportunities and strike up a conversation with someone who appears idle. Even if you completely bungle it, the worst thing that happens is that you sit back, think about how you bungled it, and move on from there.
4. Ask Questions
Who doesn’t like talking about themselves? If you can’t think of anything witty to say, just ask them a question. But lets keep the question genuine make sure it’s something that you would genuinely like to know about the person you’re talking to. If not you may find yourself asking the same question more than once. Looking like a complete jackass.
5. Get out there
Now you need to take the initiative and remove yourself from behind the computer screen and put these steps to use. Remember socializing should not be thought out as a test or an examination. It’s all about connecting, enjoying life and living it up as much as possible. Realize some folks maybe snobbish, rude, or even just like your self socially awkward [ if so show them this post ].